I have always been more than intrigued by the mystery and the chemistry surrounding our feelings. I think it's a fascinating subject and, to me, it has always had something to do with mystic arts, sorcery, and magic.
While there are times when everything is as clear as river water, other times it can be as dark as a black hole.
Sometimes you will feel nice and well, happy because of a situation, a day being conducted as you planned or wished.
Other times you will feel sad because of an event, something you were afraid would happen, something you foresaw.
Those can be the obvious observations from events that have occurred and/or were expected.
The mystery of feelings that I'm talking about is the one surrounding those that come to us without warning, heads up, without a related event or expectation, those that come like a burst and fill our entire body in an instant, and sometimes leave us shaken to our very bones.
We may have a little idea of the source but cannot explain the end result in our psyche.
I have tried and tried again to find ways of bypassing some of these rushes of emotion, trying to rewire the little things in me that could change my state of mind. And in all scenarios but one, I have failed miserably.
The only scenario that has somehow succeeded, in a way, is to put myself into action, doing whatever needs to be done at that specific point in time. It could be baking, washing clothes, going for a walk, cooking, cleaning the house, going for a run, etc.
By putting myself into action mode, I could see the feelings get tamed. Not only could I find comfort in the action itself, but I also found the bursts of feeling getting less and less scary, less overwhelming, giving me space to breathe, giving me a little time and space to think.
Maybe, just maybe, some of the answers I'm looking for may be found here and there, in those acts of doing and finding meaning in the little spaces I, we all need.
Ricardo Da Fonseca
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